What I'm doing after Christmas

Clostridium difficile. Doesn't that just sound lovely? I recently got news from the doctor that my stool samples came back indeterminate for clostridium difficile, otherwise known as c diff.

C diff is a bacterium that causes many of the same symptoms as IBD.  Bring on the inflammation, diarrhea, dehydration, blood and pus in the stool, cramping, weight loss, nausea and shit fest if it means I don't have a flare, even if it feels like one. I know c diff is a nasty, disgusting bug, but at least I can get rid of a bug. I can't get rid of a incurable disease, though I'd like to.

I had an endoscopy, used a restroom, probably have been to a restaurant where employees did not properly wash their hands, and have been on antibiotics lately. All these things can give you c diff. It spreads mainly through poop (wash your hands, people!) but antibiotics can kill the good bacteria in your gut that would normally fight off c diff. My health isn't the greatest, and I'm on medications to suppress my wild child of an immune system. In other words, I am a breeding ground for clostridium difficile, as are most IBD patients. In fact, around 20% of IBD patients will get c diff.

C diff is problematic. I could get toxic megacolon (when the colon is unable to expel waste and gas and basically explodes), perforation in my colon, kidney failure, or severe dehydration... I'm not nervous though. Whatever happens, happens, and since I have an awesome GI, I doubt I'll get to that point if I do have the troublesome little bug. Besides, only 14,000 people die from c diff each year. There's how many billions of people here on Earth?

Because my results were indeterminate, I have to send another stool sample to the lab. Two days after Christmas I will take a bus to the GI, take a dump into a hat, and hand my shit to the lovely lab tech who always draws my blood, and asks me uncomfortable questions about my bowel habits. Did I mention she looks like a model? Awkward.

I'll know in the next week or two what my bowels are pulling on me this time. Hopefully nothing too bad.

Merry Christmas and Happy (late) Hanukkah! (Or whatever you celebrate.)