Children Should be Denied Restrooms because Drugs Might Happen

My stomach has always been very touchy, usually bloated, and constantly painful. Because I have IBS in addition to ulcerative colitis, and neither was diagnosed until the last few years, I can't say for certain when what conditions started. I will say that I remember crying in pain as a toddler whenever I ate, and my mother constantly rubbing my distended stomach. I ate Fig Newtons to help with the constipation, and chewed lactose pills thirty minutes before every meal. My parents put me on dairy free diets, gluten free diets, and casein free diets. When I was in fifth grade, I started bleeding.

Yes, at this little, I was already experiencing horrible stomach pain. Age 2-3

There was not tons of blood. Just a few drops every time I went. I suddenly started hating fried and sugary foods so much that my mom brought it up on my annual doctor's appointment. Every time I ate I felt bad. In the past, I only really felt sick if I ate dairy products or acidic foods, but could otherwise eat anything that passed in front of me. I can't remember if I gradually started becoming sick at everything that passed my lips or if it happened overnight.

After lunches, which were always very hard on me because they were either greasy, acidic, or full of dairy, I'd need to use a restroom. I was in so much pain everyday after lunch. During lunch, only one person was allowed to use the restroom at a time, because some older kids had been caught smoking or something. A lunch aide would stand in front of the cafeteria doors, and if you needed to use the restroom, they did not care how badly you needed to go; you were not permitted to use the restroom. I remember feeling very anxious about that rule a few times, because I really didn't think I could hold it. I once challenged the aide on it, saying it was an emergency. She simply shrugged and said “oh well, rules are rules. Maybe your classmates shouldn't smoke.”

After lunch, my class had reading time. For about twenty minutes or so, we would choose a book of our own choice and read quietly to ourselves. It was my favorite time of day because I loved reading. But my stomach just kept feeling worse and worse and I started spending that time in the bathroom more often, with my arms curled around my stomach praying I could just die. Since I was hardly ever allowed to use the restroom during lunch, this was my time.

One day, my teacher called me to her desk when I got back, while everyone was still reading. I still felt sick and in pain. She said something, but I couldn't hear her. I was born with hearing loss, and it would be another two years before I got my first set of hearing aids. She had to keep repeating herself. Finally, when I was sure the rest of class had heard at that point, I realized she was asking why I was in the bathroom so much. I told her I was sick. She told me it was an excuse and I needed to spend less time in the bathroom. I was mortified. Several of my classmates gawked at me as I went to my desk, red faced, and tried to read the words on the page of my book. My parents did no know that this happened until recently. My teacher succeeded and making me feel so ashamed by my own ill body, that I would not even tell my dad that I was sick, and kept my illness to myself.

Looking back, I am astounded that my teacher thought I was faking it. She knew I loved reading, and teased me about the way I “devour books like a wolf”. She must have seen the way I wrapped my arms around my bloated belly. But instead of bringing my bathroom habits up with the school nurse and my parents, she humiliated me in front of my classmates and made me feel small for needing a restroom so often. I should note that my other fifth grade teacher would let us use the bathroom when we needed to- all she asked was that we give her a little wave to let her know we would be gone for a few minutes.

I mean, I was homeschooled, already wearing glasses, braces, and had to use an FM system in class on the brink of puberty. Might as well make me feel extra "in" by making me admit to diarrhea in front of all my classmates. Age 10

I remember that when I was in mainstream public high school classes, we were only given something like five hall passes a week. That meant that if you had to leave class because you needed a bathroom, the nurse, had to go to your locker, or even if you teacher sent you to go to the computer lab, you would use one of the only five passes you got. Beginning of my senior year, I was almost fully mainstream, and I starting to experience the same symptoms I had in fifth grade. I planned all my time between classes around the restroom. I utilized my lunch for toilet time. I don't think I had any accidents or blood until about a month after I graduated, but I do remember my stomach feeling progressively worse and worse, starting at the beginning of senior year. Using the restroom was subjecting yourself to embarrassment. Some of the stall doors wouldn't shut all the way, or had large cracks between the door and the hinge. The restrooms themselves were filthy, and the faucets never worked.

I really can't say too much more about what it is like to be a public school student in the USA with a bowel disease, because I only spent three years in a public school, and I was not diagnosed until a year after I graduated high school. I can say that I have been homeschooled, been in private school, ALC's and residential treatment, and I was never treated as untrustworthy for needing a bathroom except for when I was in public school. When you consider the fact that I went to treatment with gang members, kids who would suddenly start throwing chairs at other kids and kids who dealt hard drugs, that's pathetic. Likewise, why is it so hard to get a school nurse to actually pay attention to you in pubic schools? I was only in one public school district, but when I read about the ways kids are treated in public schools throughout the nation, I'm disgusted. I know it wasn't just my district and that this is a nationwide problem. If you are an American school child, using a restroom is not a basic human right. It is a privilege.

If a kid is in the restroom for a long time after school lunch, that doesn't necessarily mean that they are playing hooky. Making kids use a restroom one at a time does not stop kids from smoking or selling drugs- they just become more creative, and hurts the kids who need the restroom for medical reasons. Scolding them in front of twenty-five other children for having diarrhea is about as silly as a gym coach screaming at an asthmatic kid who's struggling to breathe to "just run faster".

Yes, kids have problems. Adults forget that they are giving children a horrible world to grow up in, and that no one starts out “bad”. Just because a child spends a good deal of time in the bathroom at school or needs a nurse, does not mean the child is selling cocaine. It is disgusting to me that adults treat children with so little trust when it comes to their health, and yet adults are the one screwing this world over. If your child disappears to the restroom after every single meal, they might actually be really sick, not trying to get out of dishes. If your child complains of a tummy ache, did you ever think that maybe they are actually in pain, and are not looking for attention? What happens when teachers are so cruel, they won't let in ill student use a restroom and that student ends up soiling themselves? What about when that kid does the rebellious thing and goes to use the restroom anyway and ends up in trouble for it?

I'm crying because I know that after I devour these delicious cookies, I will have diarrhea and be refused a bathroom. Oh wait. This was from when I was in treatment. They let me use a bathroom then. Age 15

We need to stop treating children with digestive diseases as if they are some kind of trouble maker for simply needing a restroom. Learn to be compassionate towards anyone with a debilitating illness, especially children and teenagers. When I have children, I will raise Cain if I find out my child is being denied a restroom or medical treatment the way I was. I want my children to grow up knowing to fight for their medical needs, and that their mother won't blink an eye at having it out with the school if they are denied basic rights. A toilet should never be a privilege.

I look thrilled because I just graduated. Yay, American public schools!